This year has been a mirage of getting used to new things whether voluntarily or involuntarily, thanks to COVID. The first six months of the year, I worked extremely hard on bettering my personal finances. I've mastered the formulas that I needed to help me save and invest more of my money, rather than spend it on unnecessary things. Then, I felt a void in my life, again. I couldn't quite figure out what to do with my life next. On the outside looking in, I'm a pretty normal human being like anyone else. But with learning about ways to fix my personal finances, a constant message was given to me from various financial experts. That message was, to change my mindset on how I see myself and my beliefs about the things that I've been taught that don't apply to who I am today.
So per the usual, I was scrolling on Instagram and saw a post of Myleik talking about how her therapy sessions have helped her evolve into the woman that she is now. I wanted that same joy in my life because I was feeling as if I have no one to talk to about my life, that's not directly associated with me or affected by the decisions that I make, daily. I yearned for an outside voice that could listen to me and help guide me into the next chapter of my life. As a 40 year old woman now, I feel stuck in the middle of life sometimes. I either feel like, I've been there and done that as far as career wise, to now wanting to build a closer relationship with mother and adult children, but not sure how to do so, on my own.
I became a mother at the age of 19...... I had ZERO clues of exactly what that meant and how to be a loving mother. So there's years of an emotional disconnect between me and my adult children. My body has physically been present all of their lives but the nurturing parts of being a mother, I lacked big time. I wasn't close to my mother growing up and unconsciously, I know now, that I didn't connect with them as I should have possibly because of the disconnect with my mother. Two-thirds of my children are grown now and figuring this thing called life out like the rest of us. I had a village to help me raise all of my children, even to this day. I'm in a better space mentally because of that same village. I didn't always make the best decisions on behalf of myself, or my children. Now, I am ready to live out the remainder of my life in total peace and with no regrets.
After the strong nudge I felt to see a therapist, my search was short and simple. I googled "African American therapist in New Orleans." I clicked on a few of their websites and just chose one that specialized in Family Conflicts and Life Consulting. Technically, my sessions are billed as Life Consulting because I haven't been diagnosed with any mental illnesses to call it "therapy." I didn't care what it was called or billed as, I just needed someone to talk to!
Due to COVID, in office sessions are limited but if I was going to do this, I knew that I had to talk to someone face to face. I don't talk on the phone so any telecommunication options were going to be a "no" for me. Before my session, I filled out a brief survey in my portal/online file and attached my debit card information to be billed after our session. I was very particular about seeing a therapist who looked like me: A BLACK WOMAN! My therapist is slightly older than me which is another perk to me. My session was only for one hour and we unpacked a lot in that timeframe. Of course all of my life's concerns wasn't resolved in that one hour but we definitely build a foundation for me to get started and work on.
I can say my session covered two parts: a historical background about myself and the familial conflicts that concerned me and then we transitioned the conversation towards my career aspirations and what's needed to reach my professional goals. I can honestly say, the latter part was the bulk of our conversation. My family conflicts didn't just happen overnight, so I'm very aware that will take some time to see some real progress with and I'm ok with that. However, I'm in a new season as far as my business and that took priority because it dictates what I do daily, to provide for myself and my children. My therapist gave me some homework to do before my next session, which I really loved. We decided to meet once a month unless something changes.
My therapy session was exactly what I needed for such a time as this in my life. My children are older now and need me less, my household has a consistent schedule that I work hard to stick to with me and my boyfriend and now, I'm ready for new opportunities in my life. I don't know about you but I don't like my life being on autopilot. I need to constantly engage in doing new things because I get bored easily. So going to therapy was one of the best decisions that I've made in my life. I've lived my life for everyone else and now, I'm ready to live my life unapologetically for F-E-L-I-C-I-A!!!!!!!!
I encourage you to find someone that you can talk things through with that has no connection to you or the people that you're connected to. Doing that, will change your entire life. As with anything, you may have to go through tests and trials until you find that person. For me, I prayed and asked God to lead me to the person that could download guidance into me and who also has a relationship with God. For $75/hour, I was given that, plus more. My mind is constantly moving and to have someone help you center all of your thoughts and help you dig deeper into those thoughts, is amazing.
I left the session feeling lighter and thankful that I listened to that little nudge in my heart to book a session that day. I'm sure some things will come up in our sessions that will bring up some of the hurt and pain I've felt over the years, that's expected. I've healed from a lot of things in my life. My mind and heart is open to discuss those experiences, anytime that I need to. To me, you can't heal what you can't address and I stand firm in who I am today and who I am becoming for my future self and my legacy. Whether you see a therapist or not, get to the roots of why you do certain things that you do and/or why you believe what you believe about your life? My therapy experience will be different than yours, but we can encourage each other along the way if you'd like, I'm cheering for you from afar.
If you want to share your therapy experience(s) to help someone else, please do so in the comments. This is a safe space so please be mindful and respectful in your comments.
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