Getting married is a serious investment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. There are tons of resources out there that will help you decide if you are marrying the right person or not if you don’t trust your own judgement. But before you spend thousands of dollars on saying "yes to the dress" or partying all night at your bachelorette or bachelor party the night before, you need to ask the following questions before you walk down the aisle of or skip to the courtroom for a holy matrimony:
1. Do you want children? If so, how many?
2. What are your long-term goals for yourself and our marriage?
3. What values and morals are most important to you?
4. What are your spiritual beliefs, if any?
5. What is your love language?
6. How would you describe your relationship with your family?
7. What are your deal breakers?
8. How do you deal with stress?
9. What are your financial goals?
10. Do you communicate with any former partners (including on social media)?
Keep in mind, this list is in no particular order and can be asked in whatever moments you deemed their fitting for your relationship. This list is also not a complete list and therefore, you should be asking all of the necessary questions, before committing to marriage. Entering into marriage without having a solid foundation established prior to, will only hinder the marriage down the road. Whatever issues that can be resolved before the marriage, solve them because the title of marriage doesn’t guarantee that your problems will be solved instantly.
If you are entering a marriage as a blended family, I’ll add bonus advice here: Make sure all of the adults communicate regarding the well-being of the children. I know situations can be difficult to communicate when children are involved. I highly suggest that if things get too difficult, consider family counseling. Blending families are a beautiful asset to a family if done and communicated correctly.
Asking these questions above, will let you know the thoughts and plans of your partner. It is your responsibility to decide if that’s what you want in a marriage, or not. People do change but there shouldn’t be any drastic changes occurring that jeopardizing the longevity of your marriage. Too often, we hear what we want to hear in the beginning of our relationships and then our marriage fail, years later. You don’t want to enter into a marriage with any doubts or fears so it’s best to have the much needed conversations now for FREE, or pay a hefty cost later during the divorce proceedings.