As mothers, wives, and career women, I know our dedication to our children, spouses, and careers can get in the way of our love lives. Whether it’s bringing the kids to their extracurricular activities, handling our wifely duties, or bringing our work home with us day in and day out especially for the women who hold all three of these titles. Let’s be honest, it is hard!! However, I firmly believe that it can be done. Of course it will take some extra effort and sacrifice, but trust me when I say it’s worth it.
Before we get into the nitty gritty, I want you to reflect on what exactly your love life may be missing. I believe a great love life consists of four components: spontaneity, initiation, intimacy, and time. If your relationship is lacking any of these characteristics, you should focus on ways to recreate them with your hubby. It is easier said than done, but it is definitely possible!
If you want to make your love life great again, you either have to go back to how it all started or take it in a new direction. As a woman, I know what it’s like to mature, have children and start thinking more rationally. Let’s be honest, as a young adult, you probably lived for sex that put you at risk of being caught, like car sex. Now, you’re older and aren’t likely to get nasty in the car since you have a comfortable home to do that in. I get it. However, spontaneity is a prime aspect of a healthy relationship. Ladies, at some point we need to let go of our routines a little bit. If your significant other has a wild suggestion like car sex, take him up on it!
Another factor of a healthy relationship is initiation. You can initiate a bonding experience with your partner by coming up with a wild suggestion and seeing it through, or you can ask them out on a romantic date. He will absolutely love that you are taking initiative, and you will be satisfied with the result. Surprise him. Blow his mind. Do something out of the ordinary.
The third factor of a healthy relationship that you must make room for is intimacy. Let me be clear, ladies - I’m talking about sex! I believe that the sex should remain consistent and even get better over time. I know that there are relationships out there that are lacking intimacy due to insecurities. Ten years and three kids later, your body doesn’t look like it used to. Women often perceive our flaws as worse than what they truly are. Most men don’t care that you have stretch marks, cellulite, or a little belly. Trust me, I’m a woman who knows exactly how I want my body to look, and it doesn’t look like that right now. However, I will not avoid sex for fear of my insecurities and most certainly won’t keep a piece of clothing on. When you enter that room, area, or car, all insecurities should be left outside. Your love life will suffer if you hide behind your imperfections.
Last, but not least, let’s talk about time. Time is everything. I know that house work, children, and careers can cause you to neglect your significant other. When I first had my daughter, I was so into her that I forgot I even had a husband. I didn’t notice I was neglecting him until he started complaining. That’s when I realized that my man - like all men - need to feel wanted just as much as we do. I used to turn him down when he initiated because I didn’t want to fall behind on house work or I was too tired. At some point I realized that if he ever turned me down, I would be highly offended. The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. The cooking can even wait. Make time for the spontaneity and intimacy your relationship needs to thrive.
All in all, ladies, a great love life is a key component to health and happiness in your relationship. Your love life is the steering wheel of your relationship. As I get older, I am learning that it is so important to make those men feel wanted, but it’s a two way street. As women, we will have to continuously teach men how to love us, and that means we may sometimes have to accept that we are steering this relationship. I do not condone cheating in any way, but I have learned that some men cheat because they don’t feel wanted by their significant others. Rather than find ways to reignite the flame, they look for gratification elsewhere. Don’t give your significant other a reason to look beyond you for the love he needs. Get spontaneous. Get exciting. Be bold. Do you!
Jaee is writer and lifestyle blogger. She started her blog back in April of last year after she decided to take control back of her life. Not only does she write blogs, she also writes eBooks pertaining different matters that she feels can help women her age. Jaee has also created a campaign called " Flaw Flauntin' ", which was created to help women of all ages embrace and showcase their flaws proudly. After starting her blog, she now knows her purpose is to be a voice and an outlet for the modern woman.
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