Knowing When It's Time to Let Go of a Relationship



Image courtesy of Teen Urban News


While writing the blog post, "Knowing When It's Time to Let Go of Your Business," the Holy Spirit kept saying to me that, someone needs to let go of a relationship that is no longer healthy for them to be in. I know this topic sadly so well, because I've had to let go of some relationships in my past, even up until last year. I always give this disclaimer, I am not a relationship expert I am however, experienced in having successful and failed relationships, to share my experiences with you.


How do you let go of someone who you love so much or who you thought you would spend the rest of your life with? You do it and continue to work through whatever you need to do, to let it go! Last year before moving to New Orleans, I was practically begging my ex, to make our relationship work for the millionth time. He continued to reject my offers and had moved on to be with someone else that he was genuinely happy with. I was so caught up in the fairy tale of us being together forever, that I couldn't even see that my self-esteem was so low, I don't blame him for rejecting me. It was time for me, to let that relationship go.


As with any relationship, there are ups and there's downs but when you're the only one putting in the work to make the relationship work, it's time to let it go. When respect is not being given, commitment is no longer valued, it's time to let that relationship go! It's going to hurt like hell at first, it's going to take some getting used to and even require you being alone for a while, but eventually pull yourself together and let that toxic relationship go.


Holding on to a relationship that no longer is worth your time and effort, takes up space that you can be happily doing something else, or being with people who actually love you and not just tolerate you. I remember being so low in a previous relationship, that I actually was on my knees begging this man to stay with me. I can laugh at that moment now but there's no way in hell, that I would ever again, beg ANYBODY to be with me. I know my worth and value that I bring into a relationship now, so that will never happen again!


This goes without saying, but you may need this critical reminder: if your partner is physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc., abusing you, it's time to let that relationship go! The relationship is not going to get better, no matter how many times they lie and tell you that it is. Let that relationship go!


IF HE IS MARRIED........ LET THAT RELATIONSHIP GO! No explanation needed, sis. God will never bless a relationship built in destroying His holiest union.


If you're only with him for what he can do for you. Let that relationship go, get off your ass and go make your own money! Being a goal digger is so played out and when he finds another woman to play with, he'll throw you away so quickly and you'll be left with nothing of your own.


If your relationship is always one-sided, let it go! You can be in a relationship by yourself if that's going to be the nature of the relationship. If you are always there for your partner but in return, your partner is emotionally and/or physically absent, let that relationship go! I used to always want my ex to be in the crowds cheering me on during milestone moments in my life and he was constantly a no-show. But yet, guess who was front row in every detail of his life? Me, of course.


I don't know who needs to read this one but girl, if you are not the only one in his life, let that relationship go! A man that doesn't define the relationship with just you, means that he is just not that into you. If you need to search through his phone constantly, arguing with other women about him on social media or through screenshot text messages, let that relationship go! Don't continue to be disrespected and humiliated by a love that obviously doesn't exist. A man that is sincerely into you, will cut ties with any other woman and there's no drama involved.


You may be asking, but how do I just up and let a relationship go? Here's a few things that I have done over the years to let relationships go in my past:


Be honest. Just be upfront and honest about your departure from the relationship. No need to go into a long story about the "why" because I'm sure he already knows why. Just tell him, it's over and move on with your life.


Remove yourself from his environment. Stop going to the places that he goes to. Stop hanging out with his beloved family members, knowing he'll be there too. Stop driving past his house to see if her car is out there, it's there, you knew that already. Just remove yourself from any place where he is or where he will be eventually.


Stop making yourself available and accessible to him. Just because he calls, don't answer. Turn your phone off and let him go straight to voicemail. Don't listen to the "I'm sorry" voicemails, immediately delete them. When he pops up at your house unannounced, don't answer the door. If he becomes a stalker, get a restraining order.


Get rid of the evidence. Throw away any reminder of your relationship with him. Delete. Delete. Delete, Delete, all of those photos of you and him on social media, let it go!


Move out or move to a new city/town. If you were co-habitating, move out. Giving yourself a fresh start will help you let go of the relationship. If he moves out then redecorate, change up your view so that the memories of you living together won't linger on for long. If you can, relocate to a new city, you may find a new love eventually, just as I did.


BONUS: Check out my previous blog post for more tips here https://www.feliciatsimpson.com/blog/3-tips-to-help-you-get-over-an-ex


These are just some of things that have helped me let go of relationships that just wasn't beneficial for me anymore. Don't give so much of yourself to someone who does not deserve it. You are worth so much more and with patience and growth, someone else will come along and make you the happiest woman. They will be emotionally and physically available to you. They will never intentionally hurt or harm you and they will most definitely define the relationship with you to avoid any games being played.


What relationship do you need to just let go of? Don't spend another second of your life, being with someone who doesn't value your time and commitment, let them go!


© 2018 by Kheiston Tilford. Kheiston Tilford Consulting and Services