Why Do Men Wait til After the Breakup, to Show Their True Feelings?



Image courtesy of MadameNoire


Men show their emotions for women differently so I'm going to try and answer this question I received in one of my Facebook polls, strictly from my own personal experiences. I believe that men who wait til after the breakup to profess their love for a woman, is simply due to a new level of growth or appreciation for the woman. It's kind of like the old saying, "You never miss your water until your well runs dry." As long as the man has options, he sorts through those options and eventually learns that a woman who he once had was indeed, the best one out of them all.


Now, this doesn't mean that you have to run back into the arms of a man who left you to be with someone else or for multiple women. I'm saying that in order for that man to recognize the value you added to his life, he had to go and experience the women who couldn't compare to you. AND some men are just selfish and want to live their bachelor lifestyle until they just can't and finally decide to settle down.


We see it in movies all of the time where a man realized suddenly that he loved a woman after they were no longer together. They both tried to move on but his love for her, binds them back together, time, after time, after time. Women will pour out their every emotion to a man that they love while men will suppress their feelings til eternity if God lets them (not all men). Commitment is for the people who are willing to put in the work to sustain a relationship. Sometimes, a man's level of maturity won't allow him to commit during the first period of a relationship but he will be Prince Charming years later.


Let's say for example, you started dating a man at 25 years old. It didn't last as long as you wanted but the love between you two, was definitely felt. You break up, you go your separate way and he moves on as well. Now two years later, you two bump into each other or he reaches out to you on social media/text in attempt to rekindle the relationship. You get back together and you enjoy him now as a boyfriend more than when you two first got together. Why do you think this happens? LIFE! Life happens, maturity happens, he got rid of toxic relationships with other women possibly, understanding of the values a person/woman brings into his life happened so he is better able to fully commit to this woman.


I am not saying that you will live happily ever after but again and based on my experiences only, some men just grow up and realize what they had after the relationship has ended for some time. It's no different than a woman, mistreating or taking advantage of a man and the value he brings into the relationship and she doesn't realize it until the relationship is over. She goes off and dates multiple guys and realize that they're not the one who she really adores. You guessed it..... the guy she mistreated.


If a guy is showing actions behind his words of undying love for you, give him a chance. But if he's just running game and wasting your time, get rid of him so that a real man can come along and give you that happily ever after life that you often dream off. Men and women aren't perfect, but some people are perfect for each other. Most men (and women) deserve a second chance, but get clarity and define the relationship expectations before you commit to A-N-Y-O-N-E. If you decide to forgive a man for not being up to part in the relationship the first time around, forgive him and don't mention his childish ways repeatedly by bringing up the past. If you think a man is playing games and can't be trusted, follow your gut and keep it moving girl!

© 2018 by Kheiston Tilford. Kheiston Tilford Consulting and Services