Life as a Single Parent


Image courtesy of Spivak Law Firm

Oh the woes of being a single parent. I took to social media and asked my followers to talk about their best and worst experiences about being a single parent. The common theme of answers I received were the obvious: lack of financial support from the other parent. But one of my Instagram followers stated specifically the following comment:


“Best part is you have more time with your beloved and worst part is when housework+business+playtime combines on you (and you) really needs huge amount of energy” @yigit_inseloz – emphasis mine


My response was:


I’ve had so many times where I had to combine housework+playtime with my children and wait til they fell asleep to handle my business/or complete schoolwork.


Although my children are much older now and I have a lot of more “me time” thanks to them being older, it still feels like just yesterday that I was a struggling single parent. Over the years, my parents have become my backbones more and more as I grow older and my children grow older. I still believe that I was meant to be my mother’s surrogate because those are her children really, I just birthed them for her lol.


But seriously, I remember in my mid-twenties, I thought that the world was ending because I had two toddlers to deal with all on my own. There was no line, to stand in that said, “If you are interested in becoming a single parent, stand here.” But there I was, a young adult and mother of two small children, alone, being someone’s parent. Oh, Jesus why howst thy forsaken me?...were my thoughts back then. But thank God, and baby Jesus for grace and mercy and a village that literally helped me raise my children over the years.


Being a single parent is not the end of the world. Most of the time, you do what you have to for your child(ren) without a second thought. So why get down and out about those few times, that you have to make hard choices or sacrifices for the betterment of your children? Being a parent period, is hard, there’s no printed book or YouTube channel that will help you become an expert at parenting. It’s through your own life experiences that you and your child(ren) will grow and develop together. Of course social media outlets are great for you to connect with other single parents who share similar success stories and other not no great stories. So please click the “Like” or “Follow” buttons to stay engaged with people who are like minded as you.


As a single parent, I loved watching Tyler Perry’s movie The Single Mom’s Club, the women in the story, vowed to take turns to help each other out to avoid burn-outs that comes from being single parents. For whatever reason that you became a single parent, you need a support group! Children need various emotional and physical support from us at different stages in their lives and you need a support group to help you navigate through those stages. I’ll use myself for example, I will be so happy when my teenagers get passed these teen years and become young adults, I’m counting down the minutes when I can boldly say, “Stop asking me for money for everything you think is litty”……. or asking me for money to buy outfits for every event that they attend……who created these teenagers?!


I still struggle some days as a single parent but I don’t let those few downer moments get the best of me. I regroup when I need to, reach out for help when I need to, tag my best friends to play aunt for a little while before I go crazy and everything turns around for the better.


Are you a single parent? Share your tips in the comments that help you get through those tough days or moments.

© 2018 by Kheiston Tilford. Kheiston Tilford Consulting and Services